Tell you what I could really go for, Facebook friends? Some cryptic, attention seeking, passive aggressive fucking message about how your day was really good/bad, or how your boyfriend is treating you badly despite the fact that you’re an attention whore who draws all self worth from the amount of likes accrued by the multiple pouting selfies you post each day.
Or perhaps a photo of you doing the same stupid jump pose as everyone else in front of every landmark in Europe or the US. You know, those places you can barely remember because you were too busy figuring out which stupid, unoriginal photo made you look most attractive? Those places you only went to in the first place because you saw that one of your Facebook friends had, and damned if you weren’t going to become as ‘worldly’ as them.
Or maybe an unnecessarily strong-worded, uninformed left-wing political post based solely on media hysteria? You know, those opinions you so strongly immerse yourself in because you feel it makes you morally and intellectually superior to normal people? Normal people who take issue with illegal immigration and the Government being in debt? Yeah, fuck those guys, you’re right.